Sometimes...

Sometimes I wonder why am I so talkative or is it I'm too bored so must find people to chit chat. But sometimes I can just stare at my computer and ignore my phone for half to whole day at work. Okay... Why am I like a superficial lady talking about dieting and slimming stuff with others who are still whiny about their shape and size when all I want is a healthy life and nice bod? Why why why??? Tell me!!!! I feel like I'm like those no substance kind of category already!!! I don't want that... I just need to stop talking with people on those stupid things out of boredom!!! I must got substance! I'm just so different from them and I don't want to be like them!
U might tell that I'm kinda mean but u know according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, I'm now at the 3rd level of needs and that is Esteem.


Yes... I love achievement now! Superb love. Who don't love that? Be it in personal or work. Trying to gain back my confidence. That's why I want do Invisalign. I have no confidence with my appearance because photos tell a thousand words. I don't really like to hear people say that I'm looking good in that photo when I'm a total shit! I don't like hearing that. Cos they themselves are the same. Only those which I myself feel is nice, then nice! If not, just SHUT UP!

I also don't know why I bring out this theory. I guess I still got this post-assignment jitters. Crap!


And then from next week onward is examination jitters and this is my final semester and I just gotta score a good one as per my mum's request. Yes... I want to do the family and my guy proud. Once I get through, my house will have 3 graduates!!! I think I can do it! Just gotta pray hard and sincere. Everything will be answer. 


Now I just study hard for examinations. Get down on some plannings after result release in December. Yes!!! Travel trips, wedding planning and house renovation. Oh... I'm my own designer by the way. I roughly have some ideas on how I want my house to be. Be sure that every corner is best for camwhoring and photoshoot. Any sponsors? 

Nah... joking. Not as popular as those others out there who can get everything sponsored for. Even sanitary pads also got sponsored?!?!??!!! Incredible. Anyway I still got money to buy my own pads.

Wait! Where am I getting now? Okay. Crap. 

Well... In order to be a better person, I have to change inside out. In Leadership, there is this thing call Resistance to Change. My lecturer taught us a formula: D x V x Fs > Rc.

You must have Dissatisfaction, Vision and First step that is more than Resistance to Change in order to Change. I hope I got the right thing. My scribbling on lecture notes is too much to contain. Okay. I have my dissatisfaction on my teeth, my vision is to have a nice wide smile and so it leads to my Invisalign appointment tomorrow which is my first step to change. If all these is not in place, you will resist to change. Woohoo... 

Example: I don't have any dissatisfaction about my teeth as my guy don't mind that I have protruding mouth from side way. My vision is just to try other angles to avoid seeing my side ways so that I won't look protruding alien. Thus there is no need for first step. And anyone who comes and persuade me to do braces or Invisalign is ignored. THAT IS Resistance to Change! 

Great! Why am I teaching theories again after Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? WTF!

Anyway, changes will definitely take place in me but I still have to be on the same bandwidth as my guy aka future husband. Ya lah... EGO! Hey excuse me!!!! Even if u have a degree but still a bimbo, u are just the same 'NO SUBSTANCE' person. Must complement with the things you achieved through hard work. If not it is just a waste. Okay enough say. I will change from this minute on.

Examinations + Results released = Freedom + Achievement
So while the above is unlocked, I shall work hard to unlock it before I talk about the next stage of my life. 

I think I'm good even though I'm the last (maybe) to get married. Everything comes slow and steady in place for me over the years. I thank God for that because God knows that I have suffered humiliation throughout my life despite my bad involved too. At least I changed at that point. Now I'm just enjoying the fruits out of it. I'm glad I met a guy who has been through shit throughout his 38 years too and knowing how to cherish me with his experiences since 5 years ago.

Okay enough! Talk too much of nonsense. Very no 'substance'. Get back to work now.

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