Is jus e beginning..

Felt weird when I'm at hm on a Sun. Bt to him is ok I tink.. Gt mi ard or nt makes no difference. Cos he can do anytin stil witout mi.. Forget it! I shall nt tink so much.. Let him b.. Since is his SOP for coolin dw period after a quarrel n somemore say hw long oso can, den shall take effect frm tat day till anytime ba.. A wk, a mth or foreva... Anyway, tink even up to tis min, I stil feel terrible.. Cos keep tinkin tat wat I did for him n tis r/s is stil nt enuff to cover wateva he did for mi n our r/s... Sian.. Dun reali look forward to anytin in tis r/s anymore.. I dun c tat we wil b together foreva.. I tink can reali put a stop to wateva I wan n hope to do for tis r/s. I dun wish tat e effort is gone to waste.. Mayb I shd tink more for myself rather than our r/s... At least I hv sometin to look forward to in my life bt as days passed, e future of us seems far n unreachable... Mayb is nt meant for mi... Or mayb I pin too much hopes on it... Lets c hw it goes tis few days.. Til today, we nv meet up for 4 days.. I noe he wont miss mi like b4.. For mi, e upset is more than miss... Tat means to say, I dun miss him too.. Fair! At least, I'm nt always e one who wil wan him by my side so badly.. Every hr every min wishes him to b by my side... will miss him even if we nv mit up or after so much of quarrels.. Felt like a useless lady on earth.. Mayb e upset comes after e quarrel which I cant get over cos is al of a sudden after wks of happiness n peace... Cant get over reali.. Tink is best nt to mit up till e feel is back.. Tink he oso wont look for mi etc.. Tis is his usual way.. So no worries abt him.. Cos to him, is somethin stupid n he wont bother tat much.. Den y shd I bother myself wit tat? Jus b myself ba.. I shall plan things for myself to do... I dunwan to rely on him again.. Cos to him is always tat I m big enuff to tink la etc... I tink he oso dun like mi to rely on him.. Den wat is a bf for when I cant depend or rely on him on some things???? Haiz.. I duno la.. Tink for tis period I jus stay at hm... Finish work go hm... Unless my frens jio mi out.. Tink I stil can b like b4, do things on my own... Mayb I shd try again... N as for him, as long as he wan his ears to b peaceful witout mi, he can hv e coolin dw period as long as he wants..

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