Thriving in Old Age: Simple Care Strategies
When we were kids, it wasn’t easy for our parents to watch us grow up and transition into independent adults. Now watching our parents grow older is never easy too, especially when memory begins to fade. Over the past few years, particularly since the COVID period, I started noticing small changes in my mum as time goes by. At first, it was forgetfulness. Then it began to hit hard with repetition, confusion, and moments that felt unfamiliar.
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| Brought them out to the mall for a walk. |
What makes it harder is that my dad is her primary caregiver, managing almost everything at home while the rest of us live separately. Like many families, we’re learning as we go, figuring out how to support both of them in ways that are practical, sustainable, and compassionate.
Please don't pretend you haven't been frustrated at all during this process. We all know how hard it's been. The more you care, the more it gets into you. So, are you really okay?
If you’re in a similar situation, here are some of what I thought to be simple but common strategies that hopefully can make daily life easier for our elderly parents and for those caring for them like the children or even themselves like my dad.
Since there isn’t enough focus on Geriatric Care, I’m stepping up to bridge that gap. I want to build awareness so that anyone struggling with these issues knows they are not alone.
1. Keep the Mind Gently Active
Mental stimulation doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, familiar activities often work best.
Encourage them by reading short articles, doing simple puzzles, or even flipping through old photo albums. Music from their younger days can also spark memories and improve mood. The goal isn’t to challenge them but to engage them in a way that feels comfortable and reassuring.
I brought back a simple jigsaw puzzle from Finland, and my dad successfully got my mum to finish it. Great job! Recently, I bought her a Chinese word search book to help with mental stimulation and her eyesight. I guided her through the first round, but once I wasn't around, she stopped doing it. I’ve had to ask my dad to keep her on track so she isn't just walking aimlessly around the house, which I often catch her doing on the CCTV.
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| Word Search can help with our brain and eye power. |
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| Never stop being savvy, whether to read news or even watch videos. Teach them as and when you can. |
Routine provides structure, and structure reduces confusion.
Try keeping regular times for waking up, meals, bathing, and sleeping. Even small habits like having tea at the same time each day can create a sense of stability. A written schedule placed somewhere visible can also help guide them through the day.
I’m familiar with their daily routine—unless they’re catching a lunchtime concert, visiting family, or heading to Johor Bahru for a quick getaway. But I’m also a bit wary of a fixed daily schedule, though; I worry it might fail to stimulate their mind or make them less adaptable to change. What do you all think?
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| Keep them occupied with chores and not let their mind wonder off to their own dimension. |
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| Cooking at home everyday becomes their routine. |
3. Encourage Light Physical Movement
Movement supports both physical and cognitive health.
No need for intense exercise. A short daily walk, gentle stretching, or even simple household tasks like watering plants can make a little difference. The key is consistency, not intensity.
I caught them on CCTV doing chair exercises together! It’s definitely an improvement since I’ve been nagging them to stay active and head out for walks. Even a short stroll to the park downstairs would be great. I shall make every effort to get them moving whenever I’m home, just like my brother does for my mum.
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| Exercise daily is essential and they have to understand that too. |
A balanced diet plays a role in brain health.
Home-cooked meals with vegetables, fish, and whole grains are a good foundation. Staying hydrated is just as important, especially since older adults may not feel thirsty as often. Keeping meals simple and familiar can also encourage better eating habits.
My dad has become a natural on camera, sharing his personal recipes on my YouTube Channel. As an occasional guest star, he’d love it if you gave his videos a thumbs up! He always encourages cooking at home to avoid the high costs and heavy MSG often found in outside food.
5. Stay Socially Connected
Isolation can quietly worsen memory decline.
Especially those who are living alone. Regular phone calls, video chats, or short visits from family members can help maintain emotional well-being. Even brief interactions can lift their mood and keep them connected to the world around them.
I usually try to take time off for their birthdays so I can take them out, or we’ll get together with my brother over the weekend to celebrate. Whenever I have an off-in-lieu day, I use it as an opportunity to head back and hang out with them. Luckily, I have my tortoise around for them to care for although it didn't need much care, just feed, change water and let it roam around the house.
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| Lunch with them, talk in person, that's companionship |
Small adjustments at home can reduce daily stress.
Keeping items in consistent places, using labels on drawers, and ensuring good lighting can make navigation easier. A calm, uncluttered space also helps reduce confusion and anxiety.
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| New cooking pan in action! Finally after so long. |
7. Respond with Patience, Not Correction
One of the hardest parts is communication.
When your parent forgets something or repeats a question, it’s natural to feel frustrated. But correcting them repeatedly can sometimes lead to more distress. Instead, gentle reassurance and redirection often work better.
Given my temper, my words can be sharp, even hurtful enough to bring one to tears. They are just that vulnerable. But I also struggle to control it because my patience is wearing thin. I know that caring for elderly parents with these habits requires an immense amount of grace, and I’m trying, but there’s a limit to what one person can take. It feels futile when you repeat the same thing a thousand times and see zero effort to change. I want a solution, but I’m running on empty.
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| Sometimes texts can lead to misunderstanding because of the use of words. |
8. Don’t Forget the Caregiver
In my case, that’s my dad.
Being the sole caregiver is exhausting both physically and emotionally. It can feel isolating, especially when the responsibility never really pauses.
If you have a parent in this role:
Check in on them regularly, not just the one receiving care (I will text as and when and so is he)
Offer to share small responsibilities, even remotely (order online deliver for their needs or even sweet treats for them)
Encourage them to take breaks when possible (he takes a nap when needed)
Remind them that feeling frustrated doesn’t mean they’re failing (already told him lots of times not to get so work up over my mum)
Caregivers need care too. Sometimes, they just won’t ask for it.
A Personal Reflection
There are days when this journey feels overwhelming. Seeing a parent slowly change is something no one can fully prepare for. And watching the other parent carry that weight alone can be just as difficult.
But in between the hard moments, there are still small, meaningful ones like shared meals, familiar songs, quiet conversations. Those moments matter more now than ever.
We may not be able to stop time or completely prevent memory decline. But with patience, structure, and support, we can make this stage of life a little more manageable and a lot more humane.
If you’re going through something similar, know that you’re not alone. And it’s okay to take this one day at a time.
If execution were as easy as talking, I’d have solved this problem a long time ago.
